Car Therapy

October has been a pretty stressful month for me. I have been working on improving my GPA/DAT (dental admission test) score for about three years. I took classes at Fresno City College for two semesters, and classes through UCD Extension for 2 quarters. In between I applied for Dental school and kept re-taking the DAT. I found out last month that my DAT score was fine, but it was my GPA that was holding me back. I also found out that the courses I took at Fresno City and UCDE weren't enough to be admitted, they lady I spoke to told me I should have gone back to school to get my Masters. This tiny bit of information that the lady gave me was so simple for her to say, but so difficult for me to internalize. It may be that I internalized things too much since ever since then I have been DEEPLY wounded, and I end up crying for no reason all the time.

I have been trying to study for the MCAT now, since apparently it's easier for me to become a DOCTOR in the Caribbean versus a DENTIST in the US. I haven't been putting any effort into studying for this test, mostly since I don't want to move so far, and I feel so hurt about the time I wasted for the past three years. My hubby noticed the changes in my study habits and decided that it was time for a talk.

We went to return a movie on Sunday night and ended up talking in the car for about two hours. My husband (Aman) really wants me to pursue a career in the medical field. He knows how motivated I was in the past, and he knows that if I put my mind to it, I could DO IT! I explained to him the problem was -ME- I am having a hard time putting my mind towards anything. I realized that he is ready to do ANYTHING FOR ME. Move with me to the Caribbean, take care of our baby (if we have one by then), and mostly he thinks he can handle me when my stress levels will be HIGH.

Anyhow, I still haven't made a decision, I am waiting for my body to re-calibrate itself and for me to feel like me again. Once I am myself I will decide what I want to do. I just pray that what ever it is makes us happy. We are planning to have "car therapy" once a week! :)

hello hello

I have been feeling obligated to create my own blog ever since my sisters started theirs! :). A lot of my feelings about life/family/friends are similar to their thoughts. Family has always been the most important factor in my life. I remember wanting to cry every time I left any of my parent's or cousins (after a long week of fun).
I met my husband years ago (six years ago...I think?:)). Strangely there was something about him that I never felt for anyone else (love, lust, happiness haha). Being that we are not allowed to have "boyfriends" in our culture, I always had to make up lame excuses to go see him. I always felt SUPER guilty lying to my parent's, and if I was going to hang out with him for more than a night, I felt even more guilty! I have a lil' brother that I love too too much, and he was my teddy bear each night. Every time I left to see my husband it was him I missed the most!
I never realized how important it was to have sisters until I met people who didn't have a sister, or had a sister that they were not close to. It makes me so sad that indians favor having sons versus having daughters. I know that my parent's really wanted a son, but after three daughters, who wouldn't hehe. They treat us no different than they treat my brother, and now that we help out so much and always show that we love them...they appreciate us girls a little more.
Family is the most important factor in life for me, but after family comes work. It's strange, right now I work for the Financial Aid Office at UCD, but all I can ever think about is going home. We spend more hours (awake) at our jobs than we do at home with our family or friends. This is why I find it so important to find a career that I really love. I was always against pursuing a career in the medical field as an undergrad, but after getting married and taking a few anatomy and physiology classes, I realized that I really LOVE it. I wonder if it's possible to have a career you are passionate about, and still have a family life...I am going to try my best and do what I can do. I know this post is all over the place...but my thoughts are really all over the place all of the time!!! nite nite